Week Two, Who Knew?

Who knew Week Two would be so hard? This is the week that we were going to return to our "normal" schedule and do things like we "normally" do. Maybe that is what made it so hard. We followed our regular routine...off day on Monday, library & music on Tuesday, Abby the nanny on Wednesday, gym class on Thursday, and school on Friday. Clay went back to his "normal" working hours and returned to traveling and I did the "normal" housework that usually consumes my weeks. Jack even exemplified excellent behavior because things were "normal" again. But somehow nothing felt "normal" to me. I still had moments...and lots of them. I know you're probably thinking it's only been two weeks and, I promise, I tried to tell myself that. But, I was really hoping that getting back on schedule would make me feel like the old me again and it did...partially. But, it seems to be that down time that gets me. You know when Jack takes his nap, or when Cosby and I are alone on a walk, or right before bed. I think about it all over again, I replay every waking moment of that day when I found out, and then I think about what could have been and what will be. It's all "normal" is what everyone tells me, but I'm REALLY ready for my "normal". I'm ready to be able to look back on this time in my life, instead of living it. I realize that day will come in time and like I've said before I WILL get through this. I've just got to be patient and let my mind run through the gamut of emotions that it wants to. But, wow, it is just so hard sometimes!

And here I go again, taking advantage of a captive audience and I know you've got to be tired of reading about this and, trust me, I'm tired of writing about it. But, unfortunately, it is my "normal" right now. All I can hope for is that Week Three will be more of the real me and the me that I'm learning to be from this situation. Until then, I'll continue to do what I do to get me through...lots of praying and loving my sweet baby Jack and my wonderful husband. Hopefully this will be the last time that I need to 'talk' on the blog. And if not, well, we'll just cross that bridge when we get there. One day at a time, right?

And on a happier note, we REALLY did have some good times this week. Jack makes me smile all the time with his new phrases and signs of affection. Have I ever mentioned that I LOVE that baby boy? Our week was full of laughs, friends and fun--that part of the week was great! But, Thursday was the REALLY great day for Jack. He was absolutely star struck when he got the opportunity to meet his favorite Sesame Street character, Elmo, at a local toy store. (Thanks Erin for giving us the info on Elmo's appearance) Upon his initial meeting, Jack gave Elmo a little one finger touch as if to say, "is that really you?". That was followed by a stare down from about 5 steps away, and then finally a real hug for his furry friend. Of course, I had given up on the hug by this point and put the camera away. However, the visit was worth every minute and Jack loved telling Daddy about it at the dinner table that night. I've even been stalking the Sesame Street Live website looking for a show to come to town. Please let us be the first to know if you hear of one! For the meantime that experience was 'just perfect' in Jack's eyes. And these days it makes me happy just knowing Jack is happy...thank God for these moments!