Braves, Baseball, and My Boys

Jack attended his first Braves baseball game with Daddy this week. I wanted to go so bad, oh, did I want to go. But, I just knew it was too much for Maggie (there is that guilt thing again).

I really wanted to see the look on Jack's face, experience the wonder of one of my favorite past times with him, and take lots of pictures of that excited boy. But, instead I stayed home with the other love of my life. And we actually had a glorious afternoon and evening--just the girls.

Daddy and Jack made the trek down to the stadium for the 4:30 game and met the Heilman family (another reason I wanted to go). They had been waiting for just the right weather and game time, they finally got both. Daddy promised me lots of pictures and details. I got the details...for sure. The pictures?, well, I wasn't expecting much anyway. Especially when Clay asked if he could just take the "little camera". Oh well, I've managed to make the pictures in my mind.

Needless to say, the Braves won!, Jack had a blast, and was totally exhausted when he got home. He actually made it all 9 innings with a fill of Dippin' Dots, a hot dog, and peanuts. He came back with his first Braves hat, a tomahawk and wanted to save his "special" ticket and 1st Braves Game Pin "forever".

A few action shots, courtesy of Daddy, the biggest Braves fan in the house...

Looks like they had fun...even if I wasn't there:) There is always next season.

Guilty

Guilt...someone once told me, "it's the Cancer of motherhood", and I believe it. Lately, I just can't shake this intense guilt brewing inside of me. And most of it revolves around Maggie. My dear, sweet, precious, little Maggie. Oh, trust me, I have plenty for Jack, but lately it's been about Maggie.

I promised myself before she was born that I would do everything in my power to make sure she never felt like #2. And honestly, I have. We have help for the sole purpose of making sure my kids have alone time with me at least once a week. I've taken just as many pictures of her as I did of Jack, because everyone said I wouldn't. I've made sure to write a post on the blog once a month dedicated to just Maggie and her progress. I never make her nap in the car (like people say #2 "just has to do"). I still cook all her fresh veggies and meats for the week (no short cuts). And I've even made sure Maggie started music and gym classes at the same age Jack did. But I still feel so guilty.

I blame her still not crawling on me. I know it sounds ridiculous and I realize it even more so as I type it, but I really think my guilt has some merit. Take Monday for example, my poor Maggie wasn't on the ground until 4:00, after her afternoon nap. She woke up, went straight to her highchair for breakfast, from the highchair to the car to take Jack to school, out of the car to her crib for her a.m. nap, once up from nap, back to the car to pick Jack up from school, then to the highchair again for lunch, then back to her crib for her afternoon nap. It wasn't until after her afternoon nap that she actually made it to the floor. No wonder the baby isn't crawling--she never has a chance to! I hate this for her.

Oh and then there is the never ending guilt about her severe separation anxiety. People say it's the babies with the stay at home Moms. Hmmm...I don't know about that. I was with Jack 24 hours a day and he never displayed separation anxiety. Now Maggie on the other hand is constantly being passed off from me to her Daddy, from me to the stroller, from me to the nanny, from me to a family member, geez, from me to the nearest person I can find. It always seems that Jack needs something or I just need my hands and guess what? There goes Maggie again...always on the back burner. So unfair! I feel like she doesn't know which end is up and no wonder she cries--who knows if I'm coming back--half the time I don't.

As silly as it sounds, I fear she won't be as smart as Jack. That brilliant boy knew all his letters by 1 1/2 years old and all of his sounds and colors before he was 2. Was it because I had the time to sit with him, practice, and read to him nonstop, or is it because he was just that smart? If it's the latter, I can handle it. If it's because of my lack of time, I will never forgive myself. She deserves me and my time.

And this is why I think I'm done (as of today, that is). I have two kids who I adore beyond words, who I love to the ends of the Earth, and yet, I still don't feel like that is enough sometimes. How could I possibly spread myself among 3? I can only hope the two I do have always know how much they mean to me and how hard I pray for them every day. Boy, do I pray. Ironically, even with all the guilt that comes with motherhood, I feel so blessed--I can only wish that Jack and Maggie do to.

I hope one day I will read this post and laugh, because sweet Maggie turned out well adjusted and as perfect as she has the potential to be. And if she doesn't , well, I guess she can just blame me. What's a lifetime of guilt anyway?

Fall Break = Playdate

I feel like we just went back to school and here we are celebrating a Fall Break. The teacher in me loves it, the parent in me is saying, 'really?'.

To fill our empty days (if there is such thing), we attended a playdate at toddler Ansley's house, (this being Jack's name for her). It's his filing system of sorts to keep his friends straight. Whatever works.

I had to document this playdate because as we were packing up for the day, and yes, attending a playdate requires a lot of packing these days, I realized this is Maggie's first official playdate! My sweet Mags, for the first time, will be attending a playdate outside of her home and she won't be out numbered by the big kids. Yay for you Maggie!

Of course, she loved it. But, really she loves just about anything, except for people or kids in her personal space. My immobile, plump, bundle of joy sat in the midst of the kids and played her little heart out. New toys, a few new faces (non of which were in her space), and a giant doggie. Who could ask for more?

Now, added to my to do list...plan a playdate solely for Maggie with "little" friends. I've got you covered my little lovebug!

Hmm...what to play with? So many choices.

Maggie and Alexandra. Look at that smile on Mag's face--she loves her "little" friends.

Toddler Ansley, Maggie, Alexandra, and Jake. It's so fun to be little!

Forgive me...I could not leave the big kids out, though they pretty much kept to themselves. Sophia and Jack were busy with band practice.

Little Kicker

Jack's first "game" of the Fall soccer season was on Sunday. He is a Little Kicker...how great is that title?

The count down has been on around here. Between searching and buying gear to the full out "show the whole neighborhood" your new cleats episode...we were ready. Game time is 3:30 on Sundays. It does not fair well with either of my kids naps, so needless to say, I was concerned. I am happy to report-- it went off without a hitch.

Maggie went down a little early and unfortunately was awaken early too. But, our little trooper baby was just that...a trooper. And with the anticipation of the game, Jack spent his nap time wiggling in his bed. Should I have expected any differently?

We arrived at the field right on time, Jack's cleats click clacking the whole way down the sidewalk to field #6. He was very enthralled with that. We were all happy to see familiar faces for teammates...Carson, Reeves from school, and Sophia, of course. The coach passed out individual soccer balls for all of the players (brilliant!) and told them to name their new "best friends". Jack chose to name his Cosby (very original) and Sophia, taking the best friend thing literally, named hers Jack. That shouldn't be too confusing, huh? Very sweet though.

And then the game began. I would be lying if I said it was a real game. More like a bazillion 3 year olds running around kicking their named balls, shooting goals, following through the drills, and having a blast. It was the best version of organized chaos I have ever seen.

Both Clay and I were very pleasantly surprised at Jack's enthusiasm. He actually loved it! Which, of course, I was hoping for, but you never know with a 3 year old. On the way home, he chanted "I won!", and declared "I want to play ALLLLL the sports". This followed with, "then I will have a trophy collection". He has already inquired about his next soccer "game". Looks like we found Jack's first niche.

Let the games begin! Can you tell how excited Jack was?

Jack and "Cosby"--the soccer ball version.

Go Little Kicker! (I love what hair that wasn't glued to his head with sweat is bouncing in the air)

Even the Daddies got to join in on the drills.

Look at that face of determination...poor "Cosby".

A little dribbling--using no hands is a work in progress.

Jack, Cosby, Sophia, and the other Jack were worn out after the game. Then it was time for Popsicles!

Jack let sweet Mags hold his soccer ball after the game. What an awesome Big Bro! This girl was in heaven. She is a ball freak.

Maggie was Jack's biggest fan. And besides being a loyal fan, she was an angel. Sometimes I have to pinch myself, can a baby really be this sweet? And if so, what did we do to deserve her?