I write this post with a heavy heart and ironically one that is also over come with love and joy. One year ago today, I gave birth to an extremely sweet and spirited baby girl. And I never could have imagined the way this little one would complete our family.
If I'm being honest, Lucy's birth started well before August 23rd, 2012. Nearly three weeks before to be exact. I sat in Dr C's office, as I had done three years earlier, picking out my baby's birthday. Even a second time around it seemed unnatural. Wasn't that Lucy's choice, not mine? I would soon find out this little gal and I were on the same page all along.
As usual, Dr C wanted an earlier date to be on the conservative side. August 20th. I wanted the closest I could actually get to Lucy's due date of August 26th. And this time I was hoping for a closer date for more than one reason. The first, and most important, was I wanted little one to have as much time as needed to grow and flourish. And the second, which might be viewed as slightly selfish {or mental}, I wanted a Virgo baby.
Now, I'm not one to believe in all that stars stuff, but when I read {totally by accident} about a Leo baby vs a Virgo baby, I knew the latter was what our family needed...and could handle. Anything from August 23rd gave us a Virgo. Not to mention, the obvious fact, that Lucy was meant to be a Virgo with an August 26th due date.
So as I had three years earlier, I pleaded my case with Dr C {leaving out the zodiac sign detail}, and we compromised on August 23rd, 2012.
The next few weeks were tough. Lucy was a mover and unbeknownst to me, she was huge. And as you can gather I was hot and tired in the late summer months. I toughed it through though in hopes of giving little Lu all the time she needed.
Two days before my scheduled C-section, I was suffering. I had terrible pain and was beyond uncomfortable. What I thought was an over active baby, I would soon found out were actual labor pains. It might seem that I should be able to decipher labor pains from a moving baby considering she was my third and all. But, with Jack my water broke well before the contractions began and with Maggie we never made it there at all with her scheduled C-section arrival. So, believe it or not this was all new to me.
On the eve of August 22nd, the night before we were to head to the hospital, I tried to sleep. This time it wasn't the anxiety that kept me up all night. I laid on my bedroom floor in the fetal position begging Lucy to "stop moving like that". It was so uncomfortable. All right, it was painful. There were moments that I thought she was going to push herself right out. Again, I had no clue that these were serious contractions.
My C-section was scheduled for 7:30 am. We were to arrive at the hospital at 5:30 am. I was so miserable by the time we loaded the car and headed down that I didn't have a chance to ponder how our lives were about to change so significantly {or complain about being up before the sun}. I just wanted Lu to stop the "kicking".
Once we arrived at the hospital, Clay and I got signed in and settled in the pre-op room. The nurse came to check my vitals, do the paper work, robe me, etc. As I winced through the uncomfort I explained to her that the baby was very active and it was extremely uncomfortable. She hooked my swollen belly up to monitors and I will never forget when she looked at me and said, "honey that's not the baby, those are contractions". How foolish did I feel? But...
My first thought was...Lucy picked the same birthday I did! Kindred souls.
As Clay sat next to me {checking sports scores on his iphone...God love him}, I griped the hospital bed rail and tried to breathe through one painful contraction after another. When it got too much to bear, I sent Clay to get the nusrse.
And that is when the rush started.
My contractions had gotten so close that we couldn't chance it any longer. Dr C was called and I was transported to the operating table. Immediately upon sitting on the table, my water broke. Ready or not, my cherry on top was coming.
After a quick epidural, the operation started. And within minutes I heard my little Lu belt out for the first time. I will never forget how loud she was. An ear piercing cry. {"oh no", is seriously all I could think} I heard Dr C and her assistants say, "that's a big baby" and "look at all that hair". I'm still a bit confused abut the latter. I don't consider Lucy to have any more hair than Maggie did at birth and honestly, it wan't anything to exclaim over. I thought they were about to hand over a little monkey to me. It was hardly the case.
So for the next step, as with all C-sections, they took my baby to a nearby table and checked her vitals and weight. She screamed through it all. Somehow over her exaggerated tears I heard, "she's 9lbs 1oz". Woah.
I could hardly wait to hold that giant bundle of pink. Lucille Elizabeth Cibula had arrived.
Before swooshing Lucy off, yet again, to the recovery room this time, they brought my baby girl cheek to cheek with me. {I still wasn't able to hold her}. But the most amazing thing happened. My littlest instantly stopped her wailing as soon as our skin touched. And instantly I began to sob. Tears of pure joy and undeniable love. I loved her more than I could have EVER imagined. How is that love possible three times? Absolutely incredible.
After Dr C and the gang finished up my surgery, I was then wheeled into the recovery room where I could fianlly love all over my baby. From outside the door I could hear Lu. She was that loud. I looked up at Clay and said, "please tell me that is not our baby". But it was. I can't deny I was scared to death. I had ordered an easy baby. This couldn't be happening.
And luckily, it wasn't happening {as I thought anyway}. No, once Lucy and I were reunited, she calmed down, nursed like a champ, and has been an angel baby ever since.
However, it still brings a smile to my face when I think of her first few loud moments, somethings never change. She is still my most vocal baby of the three. Thankfully, minus the screaming.
From there on, Lucy and I fell in love. I spent five long days in the hospital holding and doting over just her. She was absolute perfection. I was in complete awe that our family had been given this gift. She nursed amazingly, she snuggled perfectly, and the staff always complimented her calm demeanor.
I couldn't wait to take her home and introduce her to the family that she had completed. But, at the same time, I relished every quiet moment I had with just her. I studied everything about her, from her her heart shaped lips to her tiny toes. She was beautiful.
And one year later, my baby girl is just as lovely as she was then. The only thing that has changed is how much more I love her today. I didn't think it was possible.
I adore you Lucy and I thank God for August 23rd, 2012 when we were blessed with little you. And never forget...great minds think alike.
What I would do to have this one moment back. They truly grow up way too fast.
Happy 1st Birthday Lulu! You will always be my Cherry On Top.
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