It's that time of year again. Where I sit back and reflect on twelve months past. I am always amazed at how much we've done, how my little ones have grown, and how fast time really does fly. However, I wasn't quite prepared for the feelings that I would conjure up looking back at 2013.
As with every January, when I delve into this task, I get a bit sentimental. But, as I've mentioned 2013 was a toughie interwoven with beautiful and endearing moments. After perusing pictures, I found that 2013 was a year of a lot of "lasts". The last time I saw dear family members, the last time one of my children learned to walk, and the last time my babies will look this small.
I caught myself welling up with tears of joy and sorrow. In so many ways ready to let go of 2013, but in so many ways relishing those "lasts" I can never get back.
I took the same approach I always take to this annual post. I chose moments in time that really reflect that month. If you were to say 'March 2013' to me, what you will see is the exact memory that would come to my mind. I didn't choose the highest quality photograph or the most exciting activity we did. I chose several little moments, many of which were "lasts".
A few make me sad, but even more bring me pure joy. I found myself gravitating towards our family, the people who are dear to us. Because if 2013 taught me anything, it was to cherish the people in our lives. I only hope I can convey that message to my precious children.
So here we go, a look back at twenty thirteen....
January: Jack chose Maggie as his Very Important Person for VIP day in his classroom. While all the other children chose their parents and grandparents, my compassionate son chose his 3 year old sister. That boy has a heart of gold. What a lucky little sis that Magpie is.
February: We said goodbye to my Uncle Jim at a beautiful memorial service in his honor. His passing came as a shock and sorrowful loss. I miss him dearly and most especially when our family is gathered together. He loved my children and had the softest heart of any man I've ever known. I have no doubt he is watching over my trio while his angel wings are glowing brightly.
March: I noticed we really laid low this month. We were all mourning from a loss and sadly preparing for another. The days were long and often overwhelming and heart wrenching. But, I do remember this semi spring day with my little ones outside. The sunshine was glorious. And this picture encapsulated all that they were at that very time in their lives. Jack being a wiggle worm and an active boy. Lucy always with something in her mouth and right in the middle of everything. And Maggie all dressed up collecting things. How I adore them.
April: Yet again, we said goodbye. This time to the best Father In Law, Grampa, and Dad a family could ask for. It was the last time myself or the kids saw their Grampa before his passing just weeks later. And although we did have some forewarning, nothing can prepare you. I certainly mourn the loss of his voice, his sense of humor, the way he grabbed up the kids and cuddled them tightly, and the way he always welcomed me into his home and family. But even more than that, I mourn what will never be. I am saddened that my children won't have the opportunity to know and learn from him beyond their young years. I can only hope I can do my part to keep his memory alive through pictures, stories and of course, their lovely Grammy.
May: I spent my first Mother's Day as a mommy of three. Not only did I have three beautiful children to be thankful for, but I also had my own Mother there to do it with. It's a powerful gift to have your mom so close. I am beyond grateful that my children will be able to create memories with their Grandma, just as I was able to as a child.
June: I watched my son live out his "life long dream" of swimming with the dolphins. Talk about turning the corner on a rough start to the year. His wonderment and sense of awe was priceless.
July: We took a family vacation to Chattanooga. This one is bittersweet for me because we chose to leave little Lu at home with Grandma. But, in hindsight it was a good decision...we've have never walked so much in such a short stint. It was beautiful and the perfect get away before school started. It had all the "adventuring" a six year old boy could ask for. And happily Grammy joined us to keep the party of five alive.
August: We celebrated the last 1st birthday in the Cibula home. My little cherry on top turned the big one and since then life with her has been nothing but fun {not that it wasn't before}. But, one has done Lucy well. She is such a vibrant element to our family...so full of life, adventure, smiles, and quite the little jokester. Adore this baby {because, you know, she will always be the baby}.
September: Littlest Lu got upright this month and from then on there was really no stopping her. I watched my last baby turn into a toddler
and reveled in the happiness and independence it brought her. I spent many a days cruising around with this little one anywhere she could practice her strut. But the most endearing memory I will have as a mother is the feel of my babies clenched on to my finger as they started taking first steps. I love that Lucy let me experience it one last time.
October: Obviously, Halloween and all it's festivities are huge part of October. But this year, more than the dressing up, parties, and trick or treating, I enjoyed those last few minutes of the month on the front porch passing out candy with my girls. I never knew they would enjoy it as much as they did. The squeals and greetings from the littlest one to the dainty "tank you"s as each compliment came to my oldest were enough to make this the best Halloween ever for me. I have a feeling this will be a new tradition as long as they will allow it. Pure preciousness.
November: Maggie's 4th birthday will go down as one of my favorite parties. It wasn't because of the theme or decor. It was simply Maggie's never ending smile. Someone loved her "rainbow gymnastics" party and four has treated my rainbow princess very well.
December: Although this year started on a bit of a sorrowful note, it ended with a very blessed Christmas. I had a hard time choosing one photo to represent such a loving, merry, busy, and sometimes chaotic Christmas. But, when I truly thought it through, it was this wonderful lady and the family she has created that made it so incredibly special. My Grandma is like none other. And I count my blessings that she is still on this Earth to make Gingerbread houses with her great grandkids. I'm not sure that any Christmas will ever quite compare to this one. We love you GG.
Looking back is hard to do sometimes. But from there we learn to appreciate the here and now. With that said, I'm looking forward to a happy new year.
I can only imagine what my kiddos have in store for me. I foresee more of getting adjusted to having a large family, experiencing a few more firsts and lasts, watching the kids grow, learn, and mature, and unconditionally loving them through all twelve months of it.
Hello 2014...I've been waiting for you!
