In Loving Memory

I have put off writing this post for fear of flooding my keyboard with tears.  {and that may still happen even with the postponement}  But, I feel it is time.

I lost my Uncle Jim to diabetes the second week in December. If you know my family, we are small, but we are extremely close.

It came as a complete shock.  My family and I were not prepared for such a tragedy, but who really is.  After receiving the news, I spent the first few hours in complete shock.  Yes, I cried, but I also denied it in my mind.

After reality set in I was over come with grief and an over abundance of concern.  I worried about my Grandma losing her only son, my Mom losing her best friend and brother, and thought about how my widowed Uncle had left behind, Jon, who is only a college kid.

I was sick with grief for days.  Only when I was united with my family for the funeral did I feel some sense of relief.  We were all so saddened, but sad together is better than alone.

Jon decided his father should be layed to rest in Kentucky, a place my Uncle Jim grew up in and loved.  He was buried next to my Grandpa.  I imagine those two are having a grand ol' time in heaven together.

Because my Uncle resided in Florida {right across the street from us} for nearly 20 years, we also held a memorial service and celebration of his life in Florida.  It was on what would have been his 53rd birthday, February 2nd.  It was heart warming to see how loved he was.  {and exhausting to travel with an infant for the second time in a just a few weeks}

The past couple months have been trying.  There was certainly a dark cloud that hung over Christmas this past year.  The new year started slowly and sadly.  And now, two months later, I still find myself welling up with tears every night when I pray for him.

My Uncle was truly a wonderful man.  He was honest.  He was humble {almost to a fault}.  He was kind, caring and so generous.  He was a man of strong faith.

He knew how to fix anything {that's why everyone always had a 'Honey Do' list waiting for him when he came to visit}.  And he was extremely intelligent.  Ask any question and he had the right answer.  There is no doubt that he could have been a Trivia champ, not that I ever played it with him.  I did, however, play Pictionary with him a few times...and I won.

Uncle Jim was the first to take one of my babies out of my arms when we saw him.  He loved kids.  He loved my kids.  He was Jack's Godfather and Uncle Jim to all three of them.

I honestly don't know life without him.  Sure, I've known him since I entered this world.  But, I mean I don't know life without seeing him on our trips to Florida, spending holidays together, or catching up on the phone.

I miss his voice, his gentle laugh, and his smirky smile.

Life will never be the same without him.  How could it be? But, I hold tight to his memory. I take solace in knowing that he is the happiest he has ever been right now.  He's well and will never be lonely again.  And I know he is watching over my children, as any angel would.

All My Love Uncle Jim.