Looking For My New Normal

I am looking for my new "normal".  Because this certainly can't be it.

The past week has been tough.  Plain and simple.  I'm not negative, just honest.  We are all looking for our new normal around here.  Kids, parents, and Lucy.

Remember when I called that picture the "calm before the storm" on my last post?  Well get ready for the storm...

We came home with a baby who had her days and nights confused.  Nothing new really.  Just totally exhausting and not the best way to start the week.  Three long nights later and I'm pretty sure we resolved that issue.  But, wouldn't you know...we have different issues now.

I busted my c-setion incision by the end of the week.  {Erica, bet you saw that one coming.}

The night sweats, oh who am I kidding, the sweats in general are so annoying.  As if I don't feel gross enough as it is right now.

We will get through this.  I do know that.  I trust in that.  Because I have been here before {just not with two other kids in tow}.  Or shall, I rephrase...just not with Maggie in tow.

Yes, my angel, the love of my life, is adjusting at all angles.  She loves Lucy, but she is a bit mad at me.  A little extra needy and clingy.  And so good at wanting that extra kiss at bedtime or her lost pink dolphin that she never cared about before or having to go the bathroom 14 times while I am nursing the baby.

And yet, she hasn't connected the dots.  The dots that connect her lost time with Mommy and a new baby.  I'm hoping I can recover before she does and give her what she needs again.

And speaking of giving what is needed.  I have never felt spread so thin.  Actually that makes sense, because I haven't ever been spread quite like this.  I want to give Jack his time because he deserves it after being in school all day.  I want Maggie to still have her Mommy time {but this recovery is so long and I am depending on so many other people to care for her} and Lucy needs me nonstop.  Feed...feed...feed.  Followed by an evening of cry...cry...cry.

Oh, and I wouldn't mind eating or getting a shower every once in a while.  And sleep?  That's a luxury I hardly remember.

Yes, when I find my new normal I vow to have this all figured out.

Regrets?  Absolutely none!  I can say that whole heartedly right through my sleep deprived bones and the ringing of a crying baby in my ears.  I am still madly in love with this new little being that has rocked our world.  And I adore my family to pieces...just not sure how they feel about me right now.

We will get to our new normal around here.  Full faith in that.  It may not look exactly like our old one, but that's why it's our new.

I have decided that this is just a true test in patience and faith for me.  Prayers welcome.  {Or even an encouraging word}

And so you know this week has had some really nice moments too...and when I really think about it --more nice ones than tough ones.  Somehow the sleep deprivation has me focused on the hurdles.  Good thing I have a camera to remind me of the down hill moments.

Lucy worked on tummy time.  She is super strong...all the way up she goes.

Jack has been such a trooper.  He easily keeps himself entertained no matter how busy Mommy is.  And I swear that kid doesn't have one jealous bone is his body.  Big Brother of the year if I say so myself.

Maggie got her fill of love with GG's visit.  She kept GG very busy with play-dough, princesses, dress up, walks outside, kitchen play, and lots of book reading.

And Lucy met her GG for the first time.  What a sweet pair.